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没文化·Ki Ki Ka Ka Cool

  如果比剧情,《变形金刚》根本不能和《黑客帝国》等科幻电影相提并论。后者虽然也没敢冒犯美国文化中的政治正确,但至少在尝试从人类之外的“他者”的角度去看世界。而《变形金刚》则完全是挂着科幻片的羊头,卖着卫道士的狗肉,基本属于猴子版《金刚》的更新换代产品。剧情就别说了,即使里头的台词,我怀疑都是电脑在好莱坞的台词库里自动抽取生成的。如果一名观众没看过变形金刚动画片,那么能给这部电影打个“B -”,就已经是非常非常地手下留情了。

  但是,对于七零版的观众来说,看《变形金刚》纯粹属于生理需要——相信有不少同龄人和我一样,随手都能画出汽车人和霸天虎的标志——我们去电影院里就是为了听“ki Ki ka ka Ku”的变形声音(可惜居然没有)和看擎天柱的大口罩的。看看《变形金刚》的票房吧,历史再一次雄辩地证明,生理需要是大于精神追求的。如果从知识产权“法哲学”的角度来看[注1],电影《变形金刚》的票房号召力并不源于创新(Innovation),而是源自前期对品牌的投入——其它电影的品牌是各种男女明星,这部电影的则是擎天柱、大黄蜂、威震天和红蜘蛛们[注2]。这一点,已经有贤(闲)人说过,没必要再多抒情。

  可是不抒情,这部电影又的确没什么好值得评价的,无非就是热闹一下。既然是热闹,那就肯定有大量凑热闹的人。没关系,咱一块儿瞎凑吧,反正是娱乐呗,来,兄弟,跟着我说:“Ki Ki Ka Ka Ku”……不对,不好听,你这发音太有个性、太非主流了,再来一次,注意要更重金属一点,更美国一点,更主流一点——“Ki Ki Ka Ka, Cool”!

注释:
[1] 大词实在是太好用了,太他妈全能了,怪不得部分教授和政客特别喜欢用。
[2] 这些名字的翻译实在是太精当了,比那什么“博派”、“狂派”等等没文化的弱智翻译好不知道多少倍!不瞒你说,如果没有变形金刚,我到现在都不可能会写“引擎”的“擎”字。又联想起《机器猫》居然变成了什么“多拉”,还“A梦”,尽冲着髋关节附近去,简直怀疑现在的译者要么是偷懒,要么根本不知道什么叫信达雅,完全是在残害儿童。

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芬兰版《妈妈再爱我一次》

Äideistä parhain
English Name: Mother of Mine
Chinese Name:
战场上的小人球
Director:
Klaus Härö
Writing credits
Heikki Hietamies (novel)
Jimmy Karlsson (screenplay)
 (more)
imdb link: tt0343221

  The open ceremony of Europe Movie Festival in Hong Kong screened it. Before start, the officer from Finland said although he knows that "face" are important for Chinese, one may not hesitate to cry out when he want during watching.
  Swedish mam Signe (Maria Lundqvist), as the adoption mother of the boy Eero (Topi Majaniemi),  just lost her own daughter so she wished to raise a girl, but the Child from Finland, where bogged down the war between Russian and German, was a boy who lost his father in war. Two broken hearts were both fragile and hypersensitive so they hurt each other unintentionally at the beginning. Goodness of humanity melted the ice blades and they accepted each other with great love. Unforturely, the war ended and the boy had to go back to his own home. Not an amazing story but what makes audiences crying are the fabulous acting and the wonderful musics.
  The sceneries in the film are really beautiful, and the cinematogtaphy is great. I was moved by the story and tears covered my face actually. However, frankly speaking, I reflected during watching from that Europe is eventually still Europe, and children in there may never understand the motivation of child-selling mothers who live in some really undeveloped Chinese countryside since they may never imagine the poverty before witness those infertile fields themselves.
  A line in the scripts: "God always takes away something from you, and give you others." Wish HE really be fair to Finnish, Swedish, English, and Chinese. Perhaps I am too skeptical and pedantic. Anyway, remember calling mam even you do not watch this movie.

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